Monday, March 28, 2016

Fluid on the heart

I  went to the doctors the other day.  Honestly, I'm just getting bigger and I don't like it . so I went for help.  While there I brought up some concerns.  The dizziness I feel sometimes.  I thought It was due to the fact I quit taking my meds back in January.  I didn't say anything about when I was sleeping I would have trouble breathing ....I thought it was weight related. It started getting scary.

Back in January they never checked to see if my pneumonia was gone. So when they just did a follow up on that that's when they saw I have an enlarged heart and fluid on my heart.  Everything else about me is fine. My blood pressure, my sugar, everything.   They prescribed me water pills, did blood work (to see whats caused whats up with me) got me up to date on my meds I need to keep me stable, gave me a b12 shot and with out me asking put me on a diet pill. 

I also asked to refer me to a weight loss specialist ....so we will see how that goes.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Finding hobbies

I have been in and out have of depression. I haven't been taking meds as directed so its my own fault.  I know I need to change some things. Like making a schedule.  put important things in my schedule. repeat till its a habit.

So since I have last written I think what I will talk about today is hobbies I have gotten into. One i'm better at than the other.  Chickens. I started over again.  9 baby chicks and 2 ducklings. Its something to get me more active and give me something to connect to. The other thing is I plan on gardening.  I have started germinating veggies (wish me luck on that)  but I made a little area for humming bird flowers...I just want to create something pretty.

Had dto get one of these its all the rage in BYC land
The beginning of my humming bird garden
After I added an aloe plant and soil...now to sit back and hope for some flowers!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Loving Me

 
Filing our taxes as soon as we can I've been able to get a few new gadgets. I got a small laptop computer so I can do my updates on here easier also so I can do my product reviews effectively. Mostly I bought trinkets for the house, new curtain rods and enough curtains for my living and dining areas. I've been trying to change the appearance of from "this place looks lived Tin" "you have kids" to "It looks nice in here" " I like what you've done with the place".
 
What I'm real excited about is this new camera I got. It's pretty simple but I;m hoping it will do the trick. 
 
My husband on the other hand got several video games. Oh and some piercing equipment for his employment as a piercer at a tattoo shop. Speaking of which I got my Monroe redone by him and I LOVE IT.
 
I love the way I feel with colors (like blue, green, pink, ect) in my hair. When I had Just my natural hair I felt so washed out. Not confident in myself. With the new found confidence I've even been wearing makeup. I really like the way Max on 2 Broke Girls does her eyeliner and have been experimenting more lately.
 
Just overall I feel happier (at the moment)

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Overwhelming ramblings

It doesn't matter how hard I try, I don't think I will ever have a house as clean as those who say...."my house is a mess right now" but really it isnt. I really could cry. Could I try harder. Yes.  We all can if you look at it that way. But it's exhausting. Where does it all go? Why can't it all just stay clean?  Why does it feel like when I finish one thing the last thing needs tending to again....and I still have 3468975421 many things to do on my list. All the mean while the laundry is piling up. (Which by the way I hate the location of the washer and dryer so my weird phobias kick in and I avoid like the plaque  {thank goodness for older kids who can follow simple direction will....need to be taught the correct way for his wife one day but other than that can operate a washer and dryer at 11} another place I've been avoiding my bedroom which I can't stand clutter while I'm going through the bonus room off my room my rooms become a death trap for my mind. Christmas decorations need to go up. Summer clothes WHAT do I do with those?....put them up keep them out....baskets and baskets of clean cloths because....must I say it? I'm a clothes horder not really. Just every year I gain and lose the same weight....

And I've lost train of thought....

Basically I'm overwhelmed.

Life after a breast reduction...

First, I have yet to meet anyone who has regretted (who truly needed one) to regret getting one done. The best thing about getting the reduction (besides smaller breast) is the confidence I got back with losing the utters I had before. Even with my large stature I feel more proportionate with the size I have now. I feel more comfortable. The struggle was real.

I enjoy the simplest things like wearing smaller shirts.

I like my cleavage (instead of the butt crack I had for a chest)

I like to be able to find bras that fit AT WAL-MART!

I'M WEARING A PADDED/PUSH UP BRA!
I feel sexy....i never felt that with my utter boobs

My back hasn't hurt in a while....

Now....I'm still adjusting to the smaller breast life... I still eat with my plate like 6 inches away from me as if my breast were still sitting on the table.

I am clueless when it comes to bras,  is the padded bra suppose to have space in it?




Still don't know my true bra size.... still don't plan on that being my bra size for good. I pray I lose weight and they get smaller.

I still have nearly non existing nipples...i'm tattooing nipples Friday, That should be fun.

I still eat with my plat a foot away from me on the table as if my boobs were still resting on the table (alittle exageration)

I want to show random people things they can do (like wearing its first store bought bra) and thats not socially acceptable.

Im still as much as i love them, very self conscious. Now the swelling is down im worried they may sag.  I worry about strech marks.....i worry if they look like normal boobs ....

I dont have nipples. I went through a midlife crisis with these boobies lol and wanted nipple rings...but it wont be possible..

All that being said I would Do it again in a heart beat.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Bee my Valentine

 
So this year we totally forgot Valentines Day... I know I know .... horrible. I started off good. My youngest and I started by trying to make home made Valentines. (which he really didn't want to participate in but I'm mean and made him lol)  It was a several step process.
 
My other two kids however NEVER once gave me anything related to kids names or Valentines party. So I sent them to school with NO CARDS!!!! I FORGOT!!!! oh well.... 
 
I got my boys big pillows for $5 a piece you know the ones with Characters from Walmart... They were on sale! SCORE!  and Candy Heart Boxes :)
 
 
Painting the bees
I did the stipes and cash did all the others.... aren't they cute!
 
Our BEE OUR VALENTINE lol
 
that we never passed out..... oh well we still had fun.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Dino Family Fun

Thanks to Hubbies DAD, (and we will pay him back with taxes)  we got the kids early from school (only like 30 min early) and made a surprise trip to see the DINOS.   After thinking about it I really think they over priced it.  It was 110 for the 5 of us ( 23 for the kids to get unlimited rides)  But who else can say  THEY RODE A DINO right?!?!?!? So it was for the experience.

I love that thaey had places to Take pics


They had lots of fun with the dinos, 




Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Beginning weighin WISH ME LUCK

 Already for me its nice to see the scale move down.  I have such a serious problem with depression my weight goes up. A lot.  Fast. With the help of proper medication and a great support system.  I see my weight finally going down without a whole lot of work i eat a little more mindfully but i haven't dieted (my diet starts today) and the extent of my exercise is house work.

Im pleased to be to be under 300 so im i lbs down from my highest and my beginning weight for the next 90 days is.....


Monday, February 1, 2016

Polka Dots and Weightloss Bucket List

 I have a Facebook group Losing Weight and Overcoming.  And February first is the start of our biggest loser.  First prechallenge was to take a picture of our Goal outfit. In reality every shirt i own is a goal of mine to wear. I had a breast reduction while being heavy. So losing 30-50lbs would be awesome.  I dont know how id feel at that weight.  Ive yoyo alot because of medicine and mental ill.

Any who it will be like a fashion show!


I never wesr dresses or heals.  I would like to dress up and go dancing or something.

Next i also made a bucket list of things i want to do as or when i lose weight. It could be a confidence thing,  pravtice makes perfect,  will power. .. 

They seem silly but i like them.



Saturday, January 30, 2016

I've been doing more. A NEW PIC

It's hard to admit. One of my friends are good for me. She makes it hard to be a shut in. We all have flaws. Me, her, you, sally, joe....so maybe it wasn't her. It really was me. (I never said it was her either, does that make since) I really hate leaving home. I don't like not knowing what I'm doing. I don't want to be away from my husband or kids. Seperation anxiety issue?

So my friend has made me get out the house (I should  give her some gas money as soon as I can) we do Crafty stuff together. We just talk. And I act silly again.  Mom mode is off I guess.

I have felt better lately and decided it's time to change my look. Its a new me. I've  got many changes coming and I'm happier I felt it's time with me concentrating on my art side why not let my color shine.


Here is some art I've done today 





Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Finally DID IT

I have lots goung on btween 2 January Birthday' s and getting one of my kids ready for K12 But its over with. January is at the end and February is here. (well almost) I feel good. This year i feel there is alot to acccomplish. And theres alot to feel good about my. Or it could be the meds im taking finaly help. Or the acceptance i finally feel.

Most of all i did my first 5 k race of my 12 my new years resolution was to do 1 a month, something i could actually do. And not mess up and feel down about myself about if i mess up on.

My family joined me. Its ok i was last at 1hr 15min but in the next year i hope to gwt better.


MY FIRST SHIRT :)


Got my second wind at the 2 mile marker thank goodness 


Finished as a FAMILY 


Saturday, January 2, 2016

New year working on a new me :)

How many of you set your new years resolution religiously? How many break them religiously.  ME.   I always set a list of good intention resolution and by January 1st I usually break them.you think I'm joking.....I think my antidepressants are working GREAT!

I'm setting 1 this year. I'm doing one 5 k a month. Just to get out there. Maybe I will meet people. Maybe I will lose weight. Maybe by the end I will do it jogging.  Maybe I will find something more.



So this is me now



So, y heres the ugly truth. I ly my self.  But i am making a change. This year I am starting a journey. My New Year's Resolution is to do ONE 5 k a month. I my only requirements is to work to beat my personal best time.





Im actually really excited! Ive already started training. I know 1lap around my neighborhood is .y miles so 6of them should be the 5k. I only did one today. Its a tart. But i WILL work myself up!


Well thats alll folk!