You know when the stairs are going every which way (or am i thinking freddy Krueger )who knows. I feel manageable some days. Then others those felelings all those tiny pills I'm taking to surpress (I cant even talk/write straight im leaving errors) anyways the feelings come tap tap tapping on my shoulder.
I want to cry. Maybe because i want to do everything i can to be better, be stronger. I want to speak out somehow for other people. What is this? A disease i guess i needto have more research. I feel miserable and nothing made me feel this way.no triggers. NOTHING! Iwent to bed early to avoid the feeling but it followed me in my dream. And i quuestion for a split second if the rispidone needs to be increased as old thoughts flash in my mind.
my chest hurts, can someone please tell me why there is so much internal pain. Im getting weary of telling real world people. I'm just a misunderstood broken record. So maybe i can reach out. I have had my act together for years. I worked 2 jobs long hours. I was in control. .and one day i snap ....i guess the day i snap is the day i took those pills....yes i threw them up....or tried. But my kids were no longer my anchor. I over stepped that boundary. ..and now i count on my will power/the right meds and god....and the kids i hope.
But what pain do i feel? Why does my heart ache?
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