Saturday, February 14, 2015

Turns out Im some kind of crazy

Markings are pretty high on PTSD. Then schizophrenia but not the loony one but more im quirky. Psychastheria the ocds and phobias fall in that category. Things are not easy it takes so much medicine to keep me normal....or zombie.  Im always tired.  I zone out. I hope when we go visit friends  i can find some kind of normal. I wont drink though.
I love the ability that because of the meds i control food instead of food controling me. I've lost 40lb over the year i cant wait to get to the 50lb mark so i can do a before and after.  Im not really satisfied because this is my old higest weight.  About 7 years ago i lost 50lbs plateauing me at 200lbs  for 3 years.....and I've  been struggling ever since.  Up and down never above 250....till last year.  Thats when i got to my highest 285.  Now im 5'2......fitting in seats were hard. I felt like the marshmallow man from Ghost Busters  .  i wore the same clothes over and over i became severely depressed some days avoiding the shower. Avoding the mirror.  Ignoring  what i look like. I felt hopeless. Ive heard of yo-yo dieters but never thought  i would be in that category. Atkins, cabage soup diet, weight watchers, HGC diet, diet pills....ect. I'm just not one to stick to it but i figured out the problem. Its a medical.

Im trying to help others lose weight with me on my journey.  I try to be positive. (Facebook group: Losing weight and Overcoming ) I have a few participants that keep up, but people get discouraged when they dont lose.  I weigh on fridays.
I ask people to mainly pay attention month to month change making goals body picture and find something positive about yourself. ...

The purpose of this blog is to overcome personal struggles while losing weight. Learning to love yourself as yourself before you get to goal weight bc if you dont love yourself,  how do you think you'll  feel smaller?



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