Not always good

I dont think i wrote about my last hospital stay. I try to be responsible and keep away from my kids when im in my downs. I dont remember much. Those week i lived a blur. But what I remember is going to the hospital. I was there 12 hours. I was supposed to go to the last place I went. Instead I ended up 2.5 hours away from home in a place i that will be a nightmare for me. A place full of locked doors. All I wanted to do was excape. I left there in bruises. I became one of those people you see in movies that ge5s dragged about and man handled. I was put in a room finally given injections to sleep. In the endi got what i wanted. To be asleep. I did try had to escape. I was there voluntarily I should leave as I please. Everyone lied to appease me. I walked into off limit areas like the office area. I searched on ways to excape. I was confinced that tge ambulance bringing other people knew me and would just take me with them. No one did. Finally my husband saved me. (I had bruises under my arms and my hands were bruised where they would get caught in the door when i tried to escape) 5 hours round trip to take me home where I relearned my surrounding. I was not there meantally. I slept.

While i got better i tried doing things for myself. But i found that difficult.  I ended up eating raw chicken not once but twice. I walked out naked. I was just gone. Lost in mindlessness.

I gained 30lbs in a month. Food was my anchor. Coping with the trip to reality.  And now its time to lose some of that weight. Its time to overcome.