In and out

My hazes are in and out. I feel likevim in a confessional. Its been 2 weeks since my last confession. Lol.

I still have a sence of humor when it comes to family my husband makes jokes at my expense.

Example i dont remember things....so hes like on this day this day and this day we have sex and every tuesday i get a bj. But he is joking. I know it and we laugh.

People try to be nice and remind me how a strong woman i am. But i am rude and proof the latter.

Its different now. I dont want it to get the best of me but it has. I remember almost nothing short term. Im being given to a specialist bc my doc cant figure me out. I undress in front of people.  Im impatient. I am lost in reality i take comfort in snacking or sleeping. I only complete half of what i start. And im not allowed to drive or cook. At the moment i feel controlled by whats wrong with me. Im sorry im angry. I tried to do something with this. Got a tattoo and everything. Mental illness awareness ribbon....now i want to get a siccor tattoo cutting the ribbon. Your so happy and im sorry im angry. I just want things to go back to before. Thank you for your positiveness. I just dont believe what everyone else believes. There is an end to this. If so when? And why is it happening to me?

My husband is trying to take on both rolls. Mine and his.

Bright thing atleast im not crazy in my boys eyes ....i could cry.