Going through each day. I eat the pain away it seems to help till i see the scale. Till i see myself. I sleep just to pass the time. Day in day out it was pain of fighting the desire to hurt my self i felt so angry. And now i feel pure aniety. I dont know how much more i can take. Being surrounded by family i feel so alone. Yet when people reach out i retract i want to shrink into my hole and disappear. I don't take care of my family, my kids, my house. I let myself (cant say wither away as i gain 10lbs a week) ....go.
I started taking extra anxiety pills to help me last till the doc appointment.
I'm writing to keep note of my feelings.
Another thing i have no desire to keep going. I use to hold the family together. I cared about financial things. I cared about the house cleanliness. I felt like I nagged about the kids clothes school work real dinners. But all off thats changed. I have no motivation and i feel i drag every one down too. I have to get better to get things in the order i want it in.
No comments:
Post a Comment